Mother's Day can be a tough one for a lot of people, especially if you’ve lost your Mother, lost a child, infertility or don’t have the best relationship with your Mother. It’s one of those days where the world seems to be celebrating something that feels like a painful reminder of what’s missing, or what’s been lost.
For some, it's a day full of heartache, not joy, and it’s okay to feel that way. Not everyone fits into the “perfect Mother” picture, and it can make the whole day feel more isolating than anything. It’s important to remember that no one’s experience is the same, and it's totally valid to have a mix of emotions surrounding it.
If you’re lucky enough to have a mother you love and a strong relationship with, or if you are a mother yourself, then Mother’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate that special bond.
It’s a day to show appreciation for all the love, support, and care that mothers give, and to acknowledge the hard work and sacrifices they make. Whether it's through a heartfelt message, a thoughtful gift, or simply spending quality time together, it's a chance to recognise the incredible role mothers play in our lives.
So, take a moment to celebrate the love and connection you share, and cherish the moments that make it all so meaningful.
Take Care of Yourself: Give yourself permission to skip the celebrations if you're not feeling up to it. Treat yourself to something you enjoy, whether it’s a relaxing bath, a favourite meal, or a walk in the park.
Create New Traditions: If the day brings up difficult feelings, try creating a new tradition that focuses on self-care or something that brings you peace. It could be lighting a candle in remembrance, doing something creative, or connecting with close friends who understand your feelings.
Reach Out for Support: Talk to others who might be in the same boat. Whether it's friends, family, or an online community, sharing how you feel can help you feel less isolated and more understood.
Focus on Gratitude, Not Perfection: Instead of focusing on the idealised version of Mother’s Day, try reflecting on what you're thankful for, whether that’s special memories, the strength you’ve found through challenges, or the people who do support you.
Volunteer or Give Back: Helping others can sometimes shift your focus and make the day feel more fulfilling. Whether it’s supporting a cause you care about or simply offering a kind word to someone else, giving back can be a powerful way to find peace.
Set Boundaries: If you need to, let others know what you do or don’t want to do on this day. It’s okay to skip family gatherings or avoid certain activities if it’s going to be too overwhelming for you.
Remember, it's okay not to feel okay on Mother’s Day, and you don’t have to follow anyone else's idea of what the day should be. We are not defined by bad things that have happened to us or poor relationships, we can change things and be happy.
Take it at your own pace.
Further information:
In the UK, Mother's Day is called "Mothering Sunday" and falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent, a tradition rooted in the Christian calendar, while the US celebrates Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May, a more modern invention.
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UK: Mothering Sunday:
- The tradition of Mothering Sunday dates back to the 16th century, when people would return to their "mother church" (the main church or cathedral of the area) on the fourth Sunday of Lent.
- It was also a day when domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mothers and home churches.
- The date changes each year because Lent's dates vary.
- The tradition of Mothering Sunday dates back to the 16th century, when people would return to their "mother church" (the main church or cathedral of the area) on the fourth Sunday of Lent.
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US: Mother's Day:
- The US version of Mother's Day was established in the 20th century by Anna Jarvis, who campaigned to create a holiday to honour mothers.
- The first Mother's Day was celebrated on May 12, 1907, and it became a national holiday in 1914.
- The US celebrates Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May every year.
- The US version of Mother's Day was established in the 20th century by Anna Jarvis, who campaigned to create a holiday to honour mothers.
Links
https://www.jaiinstituteforparenting.com/tips-to-surviving-mothers-day-mothers-day-can-be-hard
https://medium.com/@laurenhsweeney/why-is-mothers-day-so-hard-cc6544f08627
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-doctor-of-nonsense/202005/mothers-day-is-nonsense
https://www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/holidays/mothers-day/mothers-day-coping-techniques
Posted by Angela
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